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There will be a spiritual and an emotional inquiry

By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower.” 
― Rabindranath TagoreStray Birds


"They will watch you like a hawk"  I had warned, in a vain attempt to protect my Privacy, but would be ignored. My privacy was nothing. My identity was nothing. Cast out to devour. To crucify.

Here where no Jesus hears and saves the wretched or puts things right. No deliverance from  salvation. No righteous path  to enlightenment. Only the  savage  desecration of the free mind dominates. The violated inner sanctum of human privacy.  Stripped of  privacy.  Anonymity laid  naked  for all to see. An Identity stabbed.  Here the perpetual cycle of openness of  raw hypocrisy and cold  fear holds dominion now.

Proud Honorary fellowships to the great architects of our demise and the cruel consequences to suffer alone.

"They want to help you" cries the voice.

The tortured False words will ring out  forever.

Go cross the Rubicon Rubi!  You will later drown. You will never find  peace. You will forever run away from Self and the torturous present moment.

I had asked you for nothing. Wanted nothing. Have became nothing.

"What  will happen when I not around, to put things right?"

Their Jesus will save only them. Proud Protection of themselves. Their reputations. Their higher moral paths to pathetically  judge and condescend down to us. Force us to hear their brutal  words, their granted virtuous divine closure as they save themselves. They forgave the aberration. They forgave his addiction. The proud public show of unconditional love will go on forever. 


The social science experiment. The Addicted and the Inflicted. Planned to bureaucratic perfection. Open up, open up! Take, take it all.  Everything. Every last protected data item. The sacrosanct data of the mind.  Compile the worthless Report for implementation - Emotions measured through qualitative and quantitative analysis, observations, and recommendations made- take everything to leave nothing..  A life once full of sound and fury, now signifying nothing.

"They want to help you"  the voices scream. 

They never did want to help.  Only cowards and fools believed those words.

Jesus saves only them - along the hallowed dead stone walled corridors of power.


I parked my car. I switched off the engine. I did not move. I stared  up at the seagull.  Up high on the distant golden sunset horizon sky, it flew a straight path above me. Grateful I could not hear its haunting cry, for  I do not like to be reminded of the sound of the sea. Not now, its terrifying sound kills me.  Powerful and  totally assured,  the seagull flew into the silence. Nothing else mattered, only the moment mattered. Emptiness and fear.


"Lamb of God. You take away the sins of the world. 
Grant us peace 
Lamb of God. You take away the sins of the world.
Have Mercy on us"
                                                                        - Agnus Dei. 




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