How did I get this award? Even I had to ask that
Answer - I survived a weekend of winter camping again with 4 blokes and more to the point for not crying my eyes out like a girl when the 100 mph gust came to blow me off Bow Fell. Now aptly named as Blow Fell.
It had been potentially a weekend packed with ice climbing, mountaineering, hiking, drinking and more drinking. So i was told....
I arrived at the rendezvous point to have Dave empty my rucsac and fill it with sleeping bags, his clothes and climbing harnesses. We had a 5 mile uphill hike carrying our gear and every extra ounce would feel like an extra ton weight. Lucky he never spotted my makeup bag and chucked that out.
It was a very mild, sunny saturday afternoon when we finally began our uphill quest to pitch tents, so we musta looked right daft each of us lugging our 40 stone ice climbing gear, campons, ice axes etc to Angle Tarn in the Lake District. I bet theres no snow up on top i kept telling them. But would they listen?
The expedition team had no natural leader, but it consisted of Spaced-out Boot Boy, 80s Disco Music King, Hero Boy and Dave oh and yours truly ( a mere amateur who just happend to make up the numbers)
Theres lots of testosterone in the sport of mountaineering, ice climbing and camping. If you dont know your four season boots well or even know what a clog cam is and where to stick it then you might as well go home now. I had not a clue on either, but then again i am a girl.
En route to the top of Angle Tarn there would be a competition. Who would win the coveted Tiara Award? Given to the biggest girl of the group. Of course I was determined it would not naturally fall on me.
The first 2 miles uphill werent so bad as they were on the flat, but the last 3 were bad. Perhaps the makupbag was a bad idea? Every so often I kept hearing "Now this is the bad bit" Bad bit! i thought we have done 15 miles of bad bits so far. 80s Disco King had gone purple and put himself into the recovery positon at one pit stop. But then he recovered enough to be first to pitch his tent.
And guess wot happened when we reached the top of the mountain?
No snow, no ice ! Bow fell butress had barely a smidgen of ice on it. Enough to make a couple of snowballs and thats all
So much for ice climbing. Plan B would now be in operation. Drinking! Our tent was the disco inferno tent. Hero boy had a MP3 player rigged up to some small speakers. So headbanging on red wine was the order of the day.
And did i get any kip ? None whats so ever. Dave and Spaced out Boot boy did a snoring duet. All bloody night!
Morning comes and its time to pack up and go. Problem was the wind had picked up, big time. We begin the downhill. But cos we were camped on an sadle there was a slight uphill onto the exposed ridge again. I found it so difficult just putting one foot infront of the other, the wind had really picked up and my rucsac instead of adding weight was acting as a sail and pulling me towards the big drop off the ridge. Arrrragggh!!! I cowered down near a tiny stone step waiting for the wind to abate. But it didnt. And it wasnt going to. " Are you coming?" asks Hero boy who was struggling with the rest of them to pass over the ridge to safety. He had come back for me as being a lightweight I was bound to be blown off. "Er yeah i think so" i musta said as he took my rucsac off me and carried it over the ridge. Actually Hero Boy carried my rucsac all the way down the dicey downhill. Thats how he earned his name. I couldnt bring myself to tell him that he had also carried my makeup bag :) I felt a bit of a fraud actually, Im sure I coulda carried it.
2 hours later and we are all back in the Dungeon Gill pub with a plate full of chips and Beer. Heaven!
And my Honorary Bloke prize? A small man size Yorkie bar which as the instructions say "isnt for girls!"
Comments