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"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything"  - Plato  That was my question to the man sat next to me. We had sat for a while enjoying each others company.  "Why does Music move us?" Strangely I did not expect an answer, despite this mans deep intellect. There would be no answer. I would later learn to expect no answers, no answers at all. On entering the Great Parlour of Wightwick Manor, would you too have have stopped suddenly in your tracks on hearing the sound of the grand piano playing ? Would you too have felt your whole body and limbs fall away, relax and feel yourself being cocooned within the safe warmth of the drifting  musical notes? Would you too have felt in your mind's eye, falling to your knees,  as if in prayer to kneel at the altar of the melodic soft cadence building to a crescendo to take you to a higher plane? Would you too have felt your inner soul vibrate, reson...

“There is nothing more powerful and nothing more dangerously beautiful than a free mind.”  ―  Bryant McGill ,  Voice of Reason I was sad to learn that John Nash the Economist and Mathematician had died in a car crash over the weekend.  The event brought back the same feeling I had in Jan 1986 and Feb 2003, when the Space shuttles Columbia and Challenger exploded. The sadness at the loss of life due to accidents. I don't know why, but it is a kind of helpless sadness. Perhaps its because these people gave so much for the advancement of our knowledge and understanding.  John Nash was the inspiration behind many films, in particular A Beautiful Mind  I have become familiar with Nash's brilliant work on Game Theory lately  " the study of  mathematical models  of conflict and cooperation between intelligent rational decision-makers." Decision making through science and psychology. Clever theories put into practice in many of th...

“The straight line, a respectable optical illusion which ruins many a man.”  ―  Victor Hugo ,  Les Misérables What if I had said yes - When instead I said no. What if I had said no and instead I said yes I reflect a lot on life nowadays. For the first time I am learning from the past. I see myself and question, not only my actions, but the sometimes forced, harmful, pre-meditative actions of others. Their true  colours. Their washed out colours. "Never be half a Man" I was told. Protect your mind, your identity, your soul. It's all you have. and Words.  Words that have killed me  and words that have awoken and broken the spirit. Words. Be proud of all you have done. "This life, which had been the tomb of his virtue and of his honour, is but a walking shadow; a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"  - William Shak...

"Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar loved him! This was the most unkindest cut of all”  ―  William Shakespeare You trust me, I trust you. But tomorrow,  you will lead me With outstretched hand To those I have feared. Entrap, Force me, purposely To hear words. Their words! That will mortify, crucify and destroy All planned to perfection. Words that will forever reverberate They want to help you Privacy, Protection, Paranoia "Do you need any financial help?" "What about your career?" "What about the future?" "He is the love of my life!" Language. Logic. Truth. Brutal Actions  Pre-meditated, by choice which forever traumatize and torture. Oh Blessed are the Powerful Invincible are the Proud Fearless are the Privileged. For they shall never know The true identity of Fear The screams of the dead souls. Lord graciously Protect me. From the false guardians of our Privacy "Stab the body and it heals, but injure ...

" “God save us from people who mean well.”   ―  Vikram Seth ,  A Suitable Boy In the big infographic of  life, we are all mere dots. Dots that connect with other dots. Dots with status, dots with little status. Dots with passion, dots with no passion. Dots that connect with other dots. Dots with clever minds, dots with sterile minds. Dots that laugh, dots that cry. Dots that connect with other dots. Dots that are scarce, dots that are plentiful. Yet some dots are more equal than other dots. But equally there are some dots that should never, ever  connect with other dots. As there are dire consequences.  I stared out the train window on Thursday night. From this seat I would not see the Moon that had guided me and kept me company last week. As the train approached the final tunnel to Ipswich, many people had now stood up in preparation with their heavy suitcases from half term holidays. They formed a queue along the aisles ready to dise...

 "..lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall Lend me your eyes I can change what you see But your soul you must keep, totally free"                                               Awake my soul                                                    Mumford and Sons It rained pretty much all of today, Sunday. For a moment I was anxious as i walked to the supermarket.  I had no head covering.  But it was all OK. Not that it had stopped raining then, oh no, quite the opposite.   The heavens opened. But the rain felt so right. Falling on my head. A powerful tingle, a heavenly massage for a weary head. At that moment, I wished my walk had been longer. The blowy wind gusts and pouring rain, it all felt so right. Only...

“Your memory is a monster; you forget—it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you—and summons them to your recall with will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!”  ―  John Irving ,  A Prayer for Owen Meany Spring has arrived. Usually a time of great joy, as we emerge out of a cold bleak winter. Look out across the shoreline across at a distant forest to a new beginning, a new chapter. But that didn't happen this year. I am reminded of the colour yellow, the sunflowers that Van Gogh painted for his friend Paul Gaugins visit.  Yellow - A colour of hope. But the visit went terribly wrong. Such an event would have a profound effect on Van Goghs life and work. Today we marvel and rejoice at  Van Gogh's great legacy. Van Gogh at the time at that precise moment never felt that way. A story of two opposite halves.  A world of total Joy. A world of total Sadness. Every so often in life we p...

"Glory is Fleeting. Obscurity is forever" - Napoleon  I watched the solar eclipse on Friday. I was lucky I suppose. Did I feel honoured or even special to have witnessed this spectacular event? For a moment. No not really.  But it was tinged heavily with sadness. Why sad ? because it was fleeting. For 5 minutes I had escaped -  mind, soul and spirit running free from harm and violation. I wished it had lasted. But that would be madness. It couldn't possibly last! Everything must be fleeting. We live in a 24 hour disposable society. Nothing is built to last forever now. Nothing private. Nothing sacrosanct. We may use anything or anyone we choose. Take the best pieces and dispose, shattering into a million useless pieces. Rip out the zest of life and function, leave the bitterness to aid  corrosion and self destruction.  Just like the pile of  used, unwanted broken microwave ovens I added to at the recycling centre over the weekend. No sanctuary of th...

"As I went down in the river to pray Studying about that good ol' way And who shall wear the robe and crown? Good Lord show me the way"                                   - Alison Krauss Yes. Exactly who are you? That's my question to you. Yes you. No not him, her or them. I am talking to you and only you. So its election time here in the UK. We have all manner of politicians and their elitist cronies now competing for my time. I will often attend all manner of conferences of the non political variety. Speak with all manner of people. Civil servants, advisors, and  wanabes.  Before me they sell, sell their bullet points, appeal to my inner soul.  But where is the authenticity, the integrity, and self appointed authority  by which they speak, from...

"Nature hasn't gone anywhere. It is all around us, all the planets, galaxies and so on. We are nothing in comparison". -Bjork  Being a Moonchild, I will always be fascinated with all things associated with planets and rockets. Call it escapism -  leaving planet earth and surrendering yourself to the great cosmos. So imagine my joy when I learn today 20th February  in 1962,  John Glenn became the first person to orbit planet earth. Scott Carpenter, NASA's Mission Controller gave us the immortal words "Godspeed John Glenn" as Friendship 7 blasted off into the skies. “ The heavens themselves, the planets, and this centre Observe degree, priority, and place, Insisture, course, proportion, season, form, Office, and custom, in all line of order. ” - William Shakespeare

"Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone " -  Ayn Rand  A voice reminded me it is now 20 years since i started my working life. Will there be a celebration, a party, a cake? Perhaps an  award ceremony followed by long speeches? No. Thank goodness. Nothing will be organised or pre-meditated; as this can cause disappointment or at its very worst, deep injury.  Instead in true RubiRed style there will be moment of quiet reflection and contemplation. Much to my relief and also that of my parents,  I did end up with a proper job. I worked for large corporations (including a spell in the civil service). Here I met with the very sharpest of minds around who challenged and progressed my thinking, ideas and solutions, but unfortunately I also met with  the very worst of human nature too. So the balance of life or symmetry and patterning system of opposites played out fairly. 20 years ago an...

"...and they raised a glass once more. So pleased with themselves and all their accomplishments. No one saw the frightened shadows searching for their tortured souls and stolen identities in all the misunderstood mayhem of the festivities" Aran my 7 year old nephew  (or is he 8?) was really taken aback by the reply I gave him to the question "What do I want for christmas?" "Nothing" I said to him "Nothing?" he exclaimed. You could read him like a book from that moment.  Aunty Rubi is definitely mad! For much of the year I have long pondered the word "want" I have witnessed these questions to me: What do you want out of life ? What do want of the future? What do you want from me? Is this what you want ? These are questions I have been asked throughout the course of my life and every time my answer will be "I want nothing" But surely you must want something? Everybody wants something. Even if you don't ...

"Come fly with me. Lets fly, lets fly, lets fly " Frank Sinatra Last  week saw the return of business trips back to Dusseldorf again. Avid readers following my random ridiculous rants will recall I have been here many many times before. Germany calling, Germany calling On my return journey a wonderful thing happened... so wonderful that it made my year.  Just when I start to convince myself humanity is losing its battle to survive. The will power and freedoms of individuals beliefs are withering and waning away... something wonderful happens. Random Acts of kindness by stranger onto stranger I had arrived earlyish to Dusseldorf airport. Found my favourite airport bar taken my seat when my favourite barman recognised me immediately and welcomed be back having not seen me for oh at least 2 months now. The usual was ordered and devoured whilst being serenaded by the resident piano player. Yes I like all things around me to be just perfect in ...

These past few days we have been blessed with a wonderful view of a Super Moon. Did you see it? Big, bright and magically attractive it was. This the most alluring heavenly body I can see but cannot touch. I never tire of looking up at the Moon. A super, full, half, crescent, waxing, waning moon; any moon phase there is, the magnetic pull  is always there to be drawn and gaze up in wonder, then lose yourself to the cosmos. Yet for every time I look up at the moon, I am convinced I am the only one on Planet Earth looking up at the moon; that precise moment in time. Its just me and you Moon. Is it because I have grown up as Moon Child?  Bad Moon Rising by Credence Clear Water was Number 1 the day I was born. Bad Omen ? I think not. 1969 what a year! The telescope that sat behind the living room sofa was a permanent fixture through my childhood. Where with great excitement to open up,  delayed with lots of waiting around for assembly and focusing before you were allo...

There they go .... The Bohemians Here they come..... Machine Man A heated debate has started. It has been brewing  for some time now. I really hope there will be answers. But a natural inclination to play Devils Advocate means the debate will propagate for a while, I fear.  The question itself  somewhat philosophical, somewhat profound. Can the Soul and Ego co-exist in perfect Symmetry? ...Thursday,  I eagerly looked out of the train window, Desperately scanning and searching  the meadows beside the picturesque River Kennet. I was looking for the herd of cows I had seen this morning. There they are! In almost the same formation I saw earlier. Nine sitting cows clustered together looking in one direction only; up at the one standing cow, who looks on at them. With a supreme air of authority, standing cow looks down at them.  Is standing cow there by divine authority or by intelligent design? Is this the same standing cow from this morning ? via ...

Yes those were our instructions. We heard them loud and clear. Nobody in carriage D of the 07.43 London bound train from Norwich was to utter a word about it. All of us had silently sworn ourselves to the secrecy. " Its just between me and you Pippa , do you understand ?" spoke the women sat across the isle from me into her mobile. Pippa must have been in absolute agreement for her reply was prompt "That's perfect, really perfect! Not a word now Pippa" The revealing pre-cursor conversation with Pippa had interestingly started just before we had approached Manningtree in Essex. A picturesque part of my journey to London; often I look up from my laptop and out onto the estuary. My eyes follow the inlet of the meandering River Stour, from the deep mudflat tributary swirls, out to the great expanse of the North Sea, as far as the eye can see. Here I always breathe in a calming breath, before the mad day mayhem takes its hold. But on this particul...

“Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.” Atticus Finch tells Jem and Scout. For the Mocking Bird is a beautiful creature and sings only for you. A long time its taken me to complete the reading of Harper Lees iconic novel - To Kill a Mocking Bird. So eloquently and beautifully written, with a story that works on so many levels today. We see the story through Scouts eyes, a young girl, fast losing her innocence as a world of rights and wrongs play out before her and she slowly sees  the world through the Mocking Birds eyes. The Mocking Bird - symbolises the innocence of the characters who are derided, mocked and even killed just for being themselves, in a conformist society which fails  to understand them. A society with deep seated prejudice towards them, for this is the way society behaves and heaven forbid if you step out side of the symmetry of the...

"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows"  - Japanese Proverb Had we lived many thousands of years ago, as cavemen and women walking the earth, our fears would have almost certainly been intrinsically linked to our survival. The instinctive "Fight or Flight" response would have automatically kicked  in when confronted  by any external force that did us harm, that threatened our very existence to propagate,  procreate and survive. Of course, nowadays there are no longer dinosaurs, lions, bears and tigers (oh my!) roaming free to frighten the living daylights out of us or threaten us. Instead our modern day fears manifest themselves in other forms: Fear of failure. Fear of rejection.  Fear of nonacceptance. The so called "mind fears". Do these mind fears hold us back? Stop us from achieving our full potential? From going it alone?  Is it all too easy to stay firmly routed in the ...

"There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life.” – Federico Fellini, Italian Film Director " I am a passionate person " said the person stood on the stage in front of me. That's odd. I thought to myself on hearing these words. Three things immediately struck me as strange. 1. The person had just spoken for 10 minutes earlier with no passion in their voice, no enthusiasm, no emotion. 2. Surely we the audience should be the judge as to whether this person is passionate or not and not themselves. 3. Isn't passion something that belongs only in the bedroom and I really don't want to know about this persons private life! Ah well. I decided to give the person a chance and see what would happen in the next few months. So a year went by. Nothing, absolutely nothing happened to prove the person was a passionate leader during that year. Not a drop of evidence, not a ripple in a pond, not a raised eyebrow. Nothing. So w...